Lost Soul

They said the name of this house is Lost Souls and I do not think a place has ever been more aptly named. Oh they have not mistreated me in any way in fact Master Drystan was almost solicitous in seeing that I was as comfortable as one can be when secreted in an attic holding several jit monkeys.

Everything feels wrong though and the weight of worry has settled tight and close around me like wet suffocating cotton. The clothes I wear, men's clothing, it makes my flesh crawl. The place is strange and the jits are loud and nothing has been right since I found Master's clothing bloody, his harness as well tacky with dried blood in the trees at the falls park last night.

Master Kade said perhaps Master did it himself, a ploy to snare Skirt into finding him, but I cannot even imagine that in my mind. Not sure which is a worse thing to consider, that he would do so base a thing or that he would be so weak as to trick her into seeking him. No, no I cannot concieve of him doing that.

Frustrated. I was very frustrated last night, a part of me just knowing that something is wrong, deeply wrong. Master told me of the thief he left with a placard in the area of the Plaza of Tarns. He knows I knew the one woman, with the corpse, he even had Kade searching for her. Then he goes missing and why in the hell does it feel like I am the only one believing that the city should stop and a full search be made?

Probably because I am only a slave. I even know better logically. Men get into fights, the underbelly of the Anbar seethes and roils with chaos and danger every ahn of every day. I went to find Mads today, surely if anyone could think of a plan her Master would be able to. We were with a group of young people and just as we began to speak of the disappearance, a trio of city guards showed up in the city square.

We heard enough to make my skin run cold, they were seeking Master and for questioning. I had even gotten up to approach a guard when Master Nash called me to him, I went and bowed my head right to the stones, concealing my collar. They left and Master Nash ran off to try and get to the den before they did...we heard them say they were off to search his property for information.

Mistress Rami gave me a cap and the clothing of a male slave and we went to the cave above the waterfalls. The news was not good when Master Nash returned to join us. The Den had been searched brutally and he heard the one guard saying to find the black bitch. Sometimes I wish I were easier to conceal but after much discussion they decided the safest thing to do was to bring me here to a house I have never seen by a man I do not know.

What if they find the will though? What if the Scribe is implicated? Short of finding Master alive and well I want nothing more in this world than to see the Scribe. I ache for some form of familiarity, some pause to the dark desperate thoughts that are crushing my head. All of the what ifs collide and sitting here helpless, unaware of what transpires, it is making me mad.

What if Master is dead?
What if the ones he sought found him first?
What if, being barbarian, he has been sold into slavery?
What if he does come back, only to be arrested?
What if the city guards get hold of me?
What if the people I care for get hurt over all of this?
What if I am left here....

I have not cried since finding the clothing. Too much to do, too many thoughts, too many reasons to have to be strong. I do not think the jits will care though and even I have my breaking point....